my mom went to high school with jamie lee curtis and one time they both got caught smoking pot together and jamie told the teacher it was my mom’s and my mom was suspended and jamie lee got no punishment so think about that next time you want some activia
the laxative yogurt lady fucked over my mom
Upon cleaning out the darkest depths of my grandmother’s fridge, I discovered food that is older than me. This expired in February… 1987. This can saw Reaganomics. This can saw The Challenger explode. It saw the fall of the Soviet Union. It was around when Tupac got shot. Both times. This can is older than The Simpsons. #bruh
Fun Fact: Morgan Freeman does his own stunts.
Fun fact: this was actually a two story window prior to Morgan Freeman sitting on the windowsill. Once the house realized who he was, it retracted itself into the ground to prevent injury to Morgan Freeman.